As many of those who live in central Glasgow will have heard, the city appears to be in the midst of a crime-wave. In the west-end, a prowler has been assaulting women in broad daylight and the last two weeks at TF central have seen an attempted house break and the kicking in of a front door followed by some poor chap getting battered on a Sunday afternoon. It’s serious stuff, so keep an eye out when you’re out and about. Be particularly careful when staggering home after a couple of Weihenstephan.

When one person at work mentioned her concern at the prospect of walking to and from the train station, the helpful response she received was the question: “what weapon do you carry?”

Although tempting, TF respectfully suggests that packing heat is not the answer to safety on the streets and in the home: that’s just a recipe for getting yourself hurt (n.b. TF knows nothing about personal safety and its views are simply speculation. This email does not amount to advice and does not indicate a duty of care to the reader. If you want to pack heat, you pack it).

Instead, TF suggests that civilians should take care to walk in well-lit, busy areas and ensure that all doors and windows are secured at all times. It also makes a further suggestion: be accompanied at all times by a man with a Tash. 

Have you ever seen a man with a Tash in any kind of peril or on the losing side in a brawl? I strongly doubt it. Even if you have, he’s probably been taken by surprise by another man with a Tash. 

Look at these hard men:

Kurt Russell (and the rest of the cast of Tombstone):

Charles Bronson:

Daniel Day Lewis: