What would Miguel do?

Hola Tash Appreciators,

It’s another glorious Friday! For the Rt Hon Andrew Mitchell MP, it couldn’t come quickly enough. This one’s for you, Mitcho:

As I’m sure most of you will have heard, Mr Mitchell (the fully grown man pictured above with a wicker basket on his bike) has been accused of verbally abusing several police officers outside Downing Street. Amongst other things, he is said to have called them “f****** plebs”. 

If you haven’t read the police report, it’s here: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/conservative/9564006/In-full-Police-log-detailing-Andrew-Mitchells-pleb-rant.html The part about him repeatedly saying he’s the Chief Whip is particularly good. 

As far as I can tell, being Chief Whip essentially means being one of the Prime Minister’s chums who isn’t quite bright enough to run his own department (he was sacked from his Cabinet post earlier this month) but who is capable of deciding whether votes require one, two or three “lines” and is then able to use a ruler to underline the vote the required number of times. 

Let’s not concern ourselves with what he said. It was clearly ridiculous and said in the heat of the moment. He was in the army in an earlier life and so he can’t be quite as ignorant as this outburst suggests. 

Let’s not even about the possibility that he looked the Prime Minister in the eye and lied about what he said. He’s only the Chief Whip. He’s a hall monitor; a teacher’s pet; someone who does the bidding of those more influential than he is. What he thinks is utterly irrelevant but it fills newspapers and gives the rest of us a good laugh at his expense. 

What we should be concerned about is how to respond to pressure. You can go one of two ways: you can lose the plot and do something you’ll regret, or you can chill out, take your time and behave like an adult. 

Mr Mitchell is an example of the former and at this weekend’s Ryder Cup you’ll see an example of the latter. This year’s competition is set to be tense and intimidating for the European players. The atmosphere will be ramped up by the American crowds being very loud (you know, the “IN THE HOLE” chat) but one man will be as cool as a cucumber in a well iced Hendricks and lemonade. Keep an eye out for him, he’s very distinctive:

That lad is Miguel Angel Jiminez. If only Mr Mitchell had taken Miguel’s approach and let his hair grow out, grabbed a hat, cigar, and one of the greatest Tashes in professional sport, maybe he would have rolled out of Downing Street with his dignity in tact. 

Have a cracking weekend folks!

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