Good morning Tash Appreciators,
When we’re young – let’s say between the ages of 15 and 18 – we’re asked what we want to be when we grow up. We’re usually then told to take that notion and pursue it for the rest of our lives on the basis that we’re following our dreams by doing so.
I can see the logic of that in some respects. After all, when we’re young we tend not to be encumbered with cynicism or, put another way, a sense of reality. I used to be very interested in the idea of pipe dreams and whether it was naive to pursue them. I ended up spending a few months putting that to the test.
The evidence I found suggested that pipe dreams weren’t pipe dreams at all – they were just aspirations that we hadn’t quite reached yet. I found that we tend to be limited by barriers of our own making rather than impossibility.
On that basis, I could tell you that if you want something badly enough then you can achieve it. I could go on to say that if you find something impossible then you’re simply not working hard enough.
But that’s not life, is it – it’s not that simple.
I’m not persuaded that the aspirations we have when we’re 15 or 18 become impossible in later life. Maybe we realise that we have developed different aspirations as we get older. We might say that our old aspirations have become impossible as a way of getting ourselves off the hook for not pursuing our childhood dream.
Even that’s too simple though. Sometimes, we do everything possible to achieve what we want and we still don’t manage to get where we want to be. I don’t have any explanation for that other than the truism that life isn’t fair.
It doesn’t seem satisfactory for TF to simply say that life isn’t fair and that sometimes we won’t achieve what we want. This week’s Tash, Friedrich Nietzsche, said:
“Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster, and if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”
In the same way that we shouldn’t wait for something to happen before we engage with life, we also shouldn’t let something which has happened hold us back. Our lives do not stop the moment that something unfair happens or when we don’t reach a goal which we set ourselves. Life carries on regardless.
If we spend too much time gazing into an abyss of disappointment or wrestling with the inner monsters which tell us that we have failed, then we risk being overcome by disappointment or a sense of failure. The only answer is to not dwell for too long on perceived failure or disappointment and to press on with whatever comes next.
It’s also worth remembering, in the same way that what we wanted when we were 18 might not be what we want now, that our aspirations will continue to change and there will be another target at which we can aim and gain satisfaction. As we talked about last week, life is full of pivotal moments and we have to pivot with them. We may not always perceive what life throws at us as being “fair” but we can choose how we react and whether we move forward.
The difficulty which so many of us find is in freeing ourselves from our inner monsters and avoiding the gaze of the abyss. I’ll offer a view on that in Part 3.
Have a great weekend folks!
What’s next?
Tash Friday 
Why are there never any women featured in Tash Friday? This blog is just another example of the underlying sexism which blights our society
Thanks for you comment, Susan – you raise an interesting issue.
I have to first point out that women have featured in TF. However, I take your point that it is generally men who feature. The reason for that is simple biology as women tend to not wear moustaches.
That leaves us with the question of whether a blog which mainly features men is sexist. To answer that in this case, you have to look at the content. I do not consider the content to be sexist in any way. If anything, it shares many of the values of feminism.
I would suggest that your comment raises a wider question about the negativity which blights our society. Unfortunately, there are many people like you who feel it necessary to make negative comments on well intentioned blogs or websites simply for their own enjoyment. As I have pointed out, your comment is innacurrate and is not constructive. On that basis, it of no value and you, I am sorry to say, are a troll.
To conclude, Susan, I would be happy to answer any genuine, considered, criticism that you may have. Otherwise, I suggest you find one of the many genuine issues of sexism or inequalty to rail against and refrain from darkening the pages of Tash Friday again.
What’s next?
Your passive aggressive response and assumption that I am a feminist simply reinforce the sexist undertones to this blog and your supposed words of wisdom. I’m actually disappointed that you have resorted to calling me a “troll” because I have a different opinion to you. Have no fear, I will not be reading this blog again and will ensure that others follow suit
Cheers Susan, happy trolling.
I feel moved to defend Ms Greer in the face of such an aggressive response.
So women are hairless right? That’s a male fantasy that fuels a huge industry of waxing, shaving and electrolysis.
I prefer women with a bit of fuzz. Would you say no to a beautiful French woman with hair under her arms?
As my Grandfather said, you can’t beat a bird with a big, hairy fanny.
Susan,
As a follower of Tash Friday, I would like to point out that only on noticing your comment did I realise the shallowness of the publications weekly photograph, the tash.
I am glad that you have stood up and spoken freely about your emotions towards Tash Fridays editor, and I think your opinion simply reflects Tash Fridays view of powerful individuals (note individuals) standing up for what they believe in. What I would say is that I can’t imagine Tash Friday would ever aim to offend, and clearly shows that there is a benefit for all those reading it as you yourself are inspired to stand up for your thoughts particularly when the basis of the conversation is around a genetic aspect of manhood, that is not never, but not often found in the opposite sex.
I would at this time like to refer you to the following video which I believe in turn gives a hilarious outlook on your original comment.
Lastly some life advice, if you don’t like what Tash Friday talks about then do as I did after getting past the first line of your original comment….stop reading it…!
Regards.