Como estas Tash Appreciators!

I was talking about Tashes with Mr A last weekend, as I seem to do all the time these days, and he was pointing me in the direction of some world class examples from the seventies. 

I’ve decided to save those for another time because, as he was pointing me in the direction of rock ‘n’ rollers of the highest pedigree, I got to thinking about whether the age of apparently superhuman rockstars and movie stars has been ruined by the advent of tabloids and the internet; both of which have served to let us see behind the curtain and have shown that these people are mere mortals after all. 

I also got to thinking about past Tash Fridays and realised that the vast majority of them were at least 10 years old. The most recent modern one was a burd for god’s sake! 

So, this week, I intend to remedy the fact that modern Tash-toting gents have been somewhat neglected of late. 

This week’s Tash is a movie star for the modern age. One minute he’s wearing a daft helmet and pulling submarines out of the sea with his mind; the next he’s playing Karl Jung; and then, soon after, he plays a guy addicted to picking to chicks up on the subway and generally ladding around to the point where it becomes an illness. I should also add that it’s probably fair to say that prior to “Shame” – where he gets it oot at every opportunity – his audience was primarily blokes who thought he was just downright cool. However, the ladies have now discovered him, and his Irish accent, and it seems certain he’ll become even more of a star than he currently is. 

Salut Tash Appreciators,

Right about now, In a secure location near the Devilla Forest, a creature is awakening.  

This creature is a mystery to anthropologists the world over as his physical features suggest he is homosapien but his soulless eyes and strangely long arms suggest he is a beast from a time before time. 

Nonetheless, today is a big day. Today, he becomes a bona fide police. So he puts on his favourite acapella version of a generic r’n’b track as soulless as he is and starts polishing his boots until he can see his own image. 

It’s not often that Tash Friday directly congratulates one its number (indeed, there has only been one previous occasion) but the, for once respectable, exploits of one Jonathan “Leitchy” Leitch are worthy of a mention.

Leitchy initially followed the well trodden route of school > qualifications > uni. However, in spite of his friends (including myself) telling him he was “mental” he took a turn at a blind corner and applied to the police. In doing so, although he didn’t know it at the time, he was doing exactly what Tash Friday would preach on a weekly basis : he was having a bash at something he genuinely cared about.

As he approached the end of the selection process, recession hit; police recruitment was halted; and he was left in limbo. However, he stuck to the task and built up his experience to ensure that when recruitment re-started he would be at the front of the queue. 

The situation didn’t change for over a year and I’m sure he had his doubts about whether he’d done the right thing. However, in 2011 he was offered a place on the training course (where, by all accounts, he excelled) and today he is passing out (for the first time without having had half a shandy and a shot of sourz). 

Tash Friday often talks about taking life by the scruff of the neck and following your ambitions and this is yet another example of it happening. This time though, it’s not a man with a Tash; it’s one of us. 

I’m not saying he’s Tom Selleck or Albert Einstein (he’s not even remotely similar to either of them) and I don’t want to be hyperbolic in my praise but if we accept that success isn’t measured in pounds or dollars but rather in satisfaction with what you’re doing – which I do – then we should be proud of and congratulate those who take a risk and back themselves. 

I know it’s cringe but as this is for Leitchy (the most cringe person I know), the Tash this week is Walt Disney; a man who said “All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them”:


Anyway, I’ll finish this week by congratulating Leitchy and, more importantly, Mr and Mrs Leitch. I hope you have a cracking day and that Leitchy buys you a nice lunch/dinner to thank you for putting up with him. I’ll also take this opportunity to advise Leitchy that we have adopted a Buff-Cheeked Gibbon in his name at Edinburgh Zoo (Gibbon just about sums him up) and the details are winging rheir way to him as we speak. I should also say that if a rather outlandish policewoman appears at your front door asking if you’ve been a bad boy you’d better let her in… some of the idea the lads came up with for a present were fairly bold. Seriously.

To Leitchy, and whoever else is free tonight, give me a text and I’ll catch you at the flat or in Kushion/Bamboo later – Turn Up The Lights!

Have a cracking weekend folks!