Tag Archives: Tash Friday

The apparel oft proclaims the man.

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Hello Tash Appreciators,

The opening sequence of the superb new James Bond film (fear not, this is not a spoiler) includes Mr Bond driving and running round an exotic city in an effort to track down a baddie. Standard Bond fare. 
What is perhaps slightly unusual is the fact that he did all the driving, running and, latterly, train-based brawling, in an expensive suit complete with resplendent white shirt (tucked in, of course) and perfectly knotted tie:
James Bond has always been partial to excellent suits but the fact that he was dishing out knuckle sandwiches and muay tai kicks while in a suit and tie was impressive. It’s possibly because one must maintain standards while representing Her Majesty’s intelligence services but it’s more likely that he just likes looking smart.
To tie or not to tie, is a constant debate amongst chaps. Some adopt the (hypocritical) Jeremy Paxman approach: 
“It [the tie] has always been an utterly useless part of the male wardrobe. But now, it seems to me, the only people who wear the things daily are male politicians, the male reporters who interview them – and dodgy estate agents.”

Others, however, take the ZZ Top approach and choose their wardrobe with this mantra ringing in their ears:
“Clean shirt, new shoes
And I don’t know where I am goin’ to.
Silk suit, black tie,
I don’t need a reason why.
They come runnin’ just as fast as they can
Coz’ every girl’s crazy ‘bout a sharp dressed man.”
The question of whether to wear a tie or not can be a difficult one. For example, ahead of a recent family occasion, this Tash Appreciator had exactly that choice. Ultimately it came down to remembering that one should never be ashamed of looking too fly*.

It is surely not in doubt that wearing a tie is the way to go if you need to look smart. Anyone who disagrees need only watch a couple of episodes of Mad Men:
Of course, there is also a place for an open-neck look. It’s arguably more comfortable and has become the norm in most work places. However, when you lose the tie, you should consider making up for that loss in other ways. That’s where this week’s Tash comes in. 

If you decide that you’re tired of being a square and want to be a bit radical then you should go all out. This week’s Tash undoes at least the top two buttons of his shirts (often three!!), has long hair and the best Tash in modern rock and roll. Gents, if you don’t wear a tie, this is the only way to look fly:


Have a fantastic weekend folks!
Cheers.
*That is a lie. Threats were made and for the sake of a quiet life a tie was worn. Ultimately, if it’s a choice between looking over-dressed or having a quiet life, we all know which way a man will go.

Oppan Gangnam Style

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안녕 Tash Appreciators,

It’s Friday again!

Here at TF, we like to cover current affairs. Sometimes this can lead to fairly heavy content,so we also like to mix it up a bit. This week, we’re starting with this chap:


No, not the guy on the left, that’s only the Secretary-General of the UN, Ban Ki Moon!  It’s the man on the right we’re interested in. His name is Psy, a Korean popstar, and he’s teaching his dance to one of the most important men in the world.
The dance is taking the world by storm. The video for Psy’s song, “Gangnam Style”, has over 530 million views on youtube (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bZkp7q19f0) and you’ll see people cutting that particular shape in discotheques everywhere from Paisley to Psy’s home-town, Seoul. You’ll even see some people doing it down the aisles of their local supermarket, but that’s another story. 
The point is that you will all need to know how to do the dance as it is/is going to be the next Macarena. TF always tries to be informative and so below is a handy guide to the dance. If you follow these simple steps, you’ll be able to tear the dance floor up with the best of ‘em:
If you have any problems, ask the nearest hipster/person under 25. They’ll be able to help you out. 
Psy is the latest in a long line of cracking Korean exports but he’s the first to really hit the jackpot. You’ll hear more about Korean exports in the years to come, particularly if you go to the cinema a lot. In 2003 for example, a Korean film by the name of “Oldboy” was released and the plot was…unusual. That’s all we’ll say about it as it’s now being re-made for a Western audience (i.e. without subtitles) and the remake’s star is this week’s Tash:
That’s Josh Brolin in No Country For Old Men (another belter of a film). We can only hope he rocks a similarly superlative Tash in Oldboy.
Have a fantastic weekend folks, try to do it Gangnam Style.

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain

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Salut Tash Appreciators,

There have been a couple of requests for TF’s views on Lance Armstrong and his fall from grace. In short, it’s been as if the curtain has fallen and he has been exposed as being what he really is – ordinary. It’s a bit like the Wizard of Oz:

There are some similarities between the impact that Armstrong’s story has had on cycling fans (and maybe everyone else, too) and the stages of grief. Even those involved in the sport were in denial about what was going on.  They deluded themselves into believing that he was superhuman. Then came anger at the realisation of what he had done; bargaining (“they were all at it!”); depression (“the sport will never recover”); and finally, acceptance. 

For those who follow cycling, the evidence against Armstrong has been known for a while. We are therefore mostly well on the way to acceptance (although we won’t wear our Livestrong T-shirts or jerseys ever again). The sport itself is dealing with doping and we’ll need to wait and see if the new clean policies of team directors have a positive impact. Like in all walks of life, there will always be those who seek to gain an unfair advantage, but the important thing is that the people at the top are doing the right thing.

Armstrong’s story is also a good metaphor for the last decade or so. He won an unprecedented 7 Tours between 1999 and 2005, just a year or two after he defeated cancer. His story, and the incredible things he did every July for seven years, caused most of us to believe he was special and that the conventional rules of physiology didn’t apply to him. 

That matched our attitude to most things at the time. We were at the peak of our powers: house prices were seemingly on a never-ending rise; wages were increasing; there was no end to economic prosperity in sight. 

Both in sport and economics, we were obviously wrong. However, on the upside, the recession, and now the Armstrong scandal, has left us with a healthy cynicism. 
There was a fantastic article in a cycling magazine during the summer which questioned why everything about Armstrong was coming out now. It’s explanation was that we used to believe in fairy stories and drink in the impossible. To use a Scottish analogy, it was like we were bevvying hard on a Saturday night, having the time of our lives but thinking that by some miracle a couple of pints of water before going to mitigate would mitigate the hangover the next day… Or that  all the partying wasn’t having an impact on our bank balances. But now we ask more questions.
There’s been a realisation that if something is too good to be true, then it probably is. That can only be a good thing. The more we question and evaluate what’s going on, the more we can influence things. This started with billion dollar enterprises being exposed as nothing more than fancy algorithms/classic frauds disguised in glossy branding and false-promises. Now all the curtains are beginning to fall and the “Wizards” are being exposed as what they always were – men in suits using smoke and mirrors. 
To put that to the test, have a look at this week’s Tash. It’s Ben Stiller in Anchorman and his Tash is just outstanding. But is it real? TF knows the answer, but what do your instincts tell you?
Have a cracking weekend folks!
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Hello Tash Appreciators,

This week’s TF was all set up to be about the moment on 12 October 1492, 520 years ago today, when Christopher Columbus “discovered” the New World. 

It was going to be great. It was going to include interesting facts about how Columbus thought he’d found an alternate route to India (what a silly billy); about how the Conquistadors that followed got up to tonnes of bad stuff in South America; and that the word Conquistador (a fantastic word) derives from the word Reconquista, which was the name of the long-running war between the Christian Kings of Spain and Portugal and the conquering Muslim armies over the Iberian Peninsula . By coincidence, that war also ended in 1492. 

But after the response to last week’s TF, you’re not getting any of that. There were taunts of TF being too serious; accusations that it had forgotten its roots; and questions regarding whether TF had been taken over by the Reds/Ruskies. 

TF is a real democracy – not a democratic socialist republic! – and to that end we’re going auld-school this week. TF was originally a way of bringing men and women together in a common appreciation of the moustache and this week’s Tash is a chap who’s admired by both sexes.

He’s a real hero; a real human being. Whether he’s playing Noah (not that one, apparently) and restoring a 200 year old house for his up-town girl; or playing a bad-ass getaway driver/killer; or even in his excellent band, he’s one “kool kat”.
Ladies know him as looking this:
This will be familiar to the lads:


But as far as TF is concerned, this is the only incarnation that matters:


Ryan Gosling – what a guy!
Tell your friends that Tash Friday can cover all the bases and, to use the modern vernacular, has #stillgotit. 
Have a fantastic weekend folks!

History repeats itself: first as tragedy, second as farce.

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Bonjour Tash Appreciators!

The BBC has just finished a mini-series about the “Masters of Money”. It was in three parts and covered the theories of Keynes, Hayek and Marx. The facial hair alone tells you they’re interesting:

John Maynard Keynes:
Friedrich Hayek:
Karl Marx:
The point of the programme seemed to be that the problems with the economy are more complicated than just stimulus v. austerity. Apparently both have advantages and disadvantages. Whoddathunk. It also followed the current political agenda whereby the issues that no-one wants to discuss are ignored and we just argue about whether history tells us to spend or save in times of economic strife. The main subject of this debate, the Wall Street crash, followed years of hardship, not the most prosperous time in human history. It’s arguably not all that relevant and by focussing on it we ignore other issues where debate might be useful.
One area where there is no debate is the seemingly unchallenged view that benefits for those who can’t be bothered working should be cut. “One Nation”/”The Big Society” apparently means a choice between working for crap money or being left to fend for yourself. It’s maybe an attractive idea to cut benefits altogether but, if you look back in time, we’ve been there and done that – it doesn’t work. 
Back in the 19th century, politicians weren’t as media-savy and they said exactly what they were doing. Just like today, they tried to split the poor (those on benefits today) into the deserving and undeserving. The deserving got help from their local parishes (local authorities today) while the undeserving were sent to the poor house (prison today). Things only changed when Rowantree and the other enlightened men of the time took matters into their own hands and provided jobs in newly invented factories.  There followed an industrial revolution and Britain’s economy led the world.
Another example where the UK is possibly blinkered is the EU. You can expect to be laughed at if you even mutter the word “federalism”. Again, if you look at the 19th and 20th centuries, history tells us that we are infinitely better off together than apart. I seem to recall a similar scepticism across the Pond but, if you forget the Civil War, that worked out pretty well. 
There are other examples of us ignoring history but you get the picture. What we do next is a tough decision, but we do ourselves no favours by allowing the debate to boil down to spend v. save. We’ve been dragged into circular arguments about narrow issues when we should be thinking on a macro scale – like Marx – and actually having a useful debate. Over to you to work out what you think.
Have a great weekend folks,
Cheers

What would Miguel do?

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Hola Tash Appreciators,

It’s another glorious Friday! For the Rt Hon Andrew Mitchell MP, it couldn’t come quickly enough. This one’s for you, Mitcho:

As I’m sure most of you will have heard, Mr Mitchell (the fully grown man pictured above with a wicker basket on his bike) has been accused of verbally abusing several police officers outside Downing Street. Amongst other things, he is said to have called them “f****** plebs”. 

If you haven’t read the police report, it’s here: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/conservative/9564006/In-full-Police-log-detailing-Andrew-Mitchells-pleb-rant.html The part about him repeatedly saying he’s the Chief Whip is particularly good. 

As far as I can tell, being Chief Whip essentially means being one of the Prime Minister’s chums who isn’t quite bright enough to run his own department (he was sacked from his Cabinet post earlier this month) but who is capable of deciding whether votes require one, two or three “lines” and is then able to use a ruler to underline the vote the required number of times. 

Let’s not concern ourselves with what he said. It was clearly ridiculous and said in the heat of the moment. He was in the army in an earlier life and so he can’t be quite as ignorant as this outburst suggests. 

Let’s not even about the possibility that he looked the Prime Minister in the eye and lied about what he said. He’s only the Chief Whip. He’s a hall monitor; a teacher’s pet; someone who does the bidding of those more influential than he is. What he thinks is utterly irrelevant but it fills newspapers and gives the rest of us a good laugh at his expense. 

What we should be concerned about is how to respond to pressure. You can go one of two ways: you can lose the plot and do something you’ll regret, or you can chill out, take your time and behave like an adult. 

Mr Mitchell is an example of the former and at this weekend’s Ryder Cup you’ll see an example of the latter. This year’s competition is set to be tense and intimidating for the European players. The atmosphere will be ramped up by the American crowds being very loud (you know, the “IN THE HOLE” chat) but one man will be as cool as a cucumber in a well iced Hendricks and lemonade. Keep an eye out for him, he’s very distinctive:

That lad is Miguel Angel Jiminez. If only Mr Mitchell had taken Miguel’s approach and let his hair grow out, grabbed a hat, cigar, and one of the greatest Tashes in professional sport, maybe he would have rolled out of Downing Street with his dignity in tact. 

Have a cracking weekend folks!

Tomorrow Never Knows pt 2

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Hola Tash Appreciators,

After the downbeat edition last week, this week’s incandescent Tash Friday is set to blaze a trail into yet another weekend. 

If the last week of August marks the end of some journeys, the beginning of September marks the beginning of others. Journeys in Scotland – particularly when they are attempted using public transport – can be uncomfortable, unpleasant and expensive but, every now and then, you get a pleasant surprise.  

If you wander through Hillhead subway station these days, you’ll see that the old brown and orange is disappearing and a sort of space age station is emerging from the dark. The best part of the new look is the addition of this:


It’s adapted from Canadian poet Dennis Leigh’s “work as if you live in the early days of a better nation” and, if you ignore the fact that you might see a similar sign at the entrances of North Korean sweat shops, it’s not bad.   

However, without intending any disrespect to Mr Leigh, it can be improved. What if, instead of “work as if…”, it was “work so that you live in the early days of a better nation”?

There has been talk all summer about marginal gains in sport having a cumulative and positive effect on the quality of outcomes. If we all worked towards something which led to a marginal (or not so marginal) gain in our lives and the lives of those around us, would we not improve ourselves and our surroundings? Would that not be the beginning of a better nation? Is it that easy? 

How you make that marginal gain is entirely up to you. You might save a life; take your granny out for lunch; or write daft emails about lads with moustaches… Arguably, it all counts. 

Last week’s TF said that tomorrow never knows and neither do we. That’s true but that’s the beauty of it: the future is not set in stone; it’s entirely up to us to decide whether we work and live in a better world/nation/city. 

An excellent example of a marginal gain is the humble Tash. It’s only a small detail but it can make all the difference:


 

Vs.


You dig?
Have an outstanding weekend folks!

Dance or die

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Buenos dias Tash Appreciators,

In a month’s time, a film is coming out called “shut up and play the hits”. I’m telling you about it now so that if any of you hear when I can book tickets then you’ll let me know. If you’re good, I’ll tell you the story of the film later.

For the moment I’ll just say that it’s about a band called LCD Soundsystem but, by virtue of the fact that he’s the heart and soul of the band, it’s really about James Murphy:

 

LCD Soundsystem were a cracking band with a bunch of good songs and one exceptional anthem. I’ve quoted this one song numerous times in these emails and, most of the time, I carry the core rhythm of it in my head. 

The reason this song is worthy of being the subject of a Tash Friday is because it talks about living life without regrets – “I wouldn’t trade one stupid decision for another five years of life”. However, I love it because it embraces a perfect contradiction: that living life to the full and without regrets will necessarily include risks which won’t always pay off and which you may later regret – “you spend the first five years trying to get with the plan and the next five years trying to be with your friends again”. 

It also talks about the audacity of youth – showing your age by setting “controls for the heart of the sun” – and realising that you’re getting older – “when the kids look impossibly tanned and you think over and over hey I’m already dead”.

You’d think that growing old and having regrets would make for depressing listening but this tune revels in the reality of life and the fact that you can’t win ‘em all. It ends in a crescendo of guitars, drums, bass and piano, and reminds us that “to tell the truth, this could be the last time” (my favourite line and a modern take on carpe diem). Its final message is that everything will be of okay if only you answer one question: “where are your friends tonight?”

This week’s Tash, Yoni Wolf from the band Why?, said that he tries to make music that you can dance or die to:

 

I don’t think his music quite has that effect on me but I would dance or die to LCD Soundsystem’s “All My Friends” any night of the week. In fact, I hope I die while dancing to it. I just hope that all my friends are on the dance floor with me at the time.  

In the meantime, I fully intend to keep “the engines turned on”; set a course for “the heart of the sun”; use the “memory of my betters to keep me on my feet”; and spend as much time as possible with All My Friends.

Have a fantastic weekend folks. If you don’t know already, ask where your friends are tonight – they want to see you.

If you offered me a scotch and plain water, I could drink a scotch and plain water – Lt Archie Hicox

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Como estas Tash Appreciators!

I was talking about Tashes with Mr A last weekend, as I seem to do all the time these days, and he was pointing me in the direction of some world class examples from the seventies. 

I’ve decided to save those for another time because, as he was pointing me in the direction of rock ‘n’ rollers of the highest pedigree, I got to thinking about whether the age of apparently superhuman rockstars and movie stars has been ruined by the advent of tabloids and the internet; both of which have served to let us see behind the curtain and have shown that these people are mere mortals after all. 

I also got to thinking about past Tash Fridays and realised that the vast majority of them were at least 10 years old. The most recent modern one was a burd for god’s sake! 

So, this week, I intend to remedy the fact that modern Tash-toting gents have been somewhat neglected of late. 

This week’s Tash is a movie star for the modern age. One minute he’s wearing a daft helmet and pulling submarines out of the sea with his mind; the next he’s playing Karl Jung; and then, soon after, he plays a guy addicted to picking to chicks up on the subway and generally ladding around to the point where it becomes an illness. I should also add that it’s probably fair to say that prior to “Shame” – where he gets it oot at every opportunity – his audience was primarily blokes who thought he was just downright cool. However, the ladies have now discovered him, and his Irish accent, and it seems certain he’ll become even more of a star than he currently is. 

Of course I’m talking about Michael Fassbender: a man who has rocked the Tash on several occasions and takes great care in keeping it tidy:
What the hell, I know some people mainly like the pictures, so here’s another one:



What a hero!
Have a bloody marvellous weekend folks and remember to get your respective mothers something nice for Sunday!

In this town, we are as good as it gets: Natural Police (McNulty, The Wire)

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Salut Tash Appreciators,

Right about now, In a secure location near the Devilla Forest, a creature is awakening.  

This creature is a mystery to anthropologists the world over as his physical features suggest he is homosapien but his soulless eyes and strangely long arms suggest he is a beast from a time before time. 

Nonetheless, today is a big day. Today, he becomes a bona fide police. So he puts on his favourite acapella version of a generic r’n’b track as soulless as he is and starts polishing his boots until he can see his own image. 

It’s not often that Tash Friday directly congratulates one its number (indeed, there has only been one previous occasion) but the, for once respectable, exploits of one Jonathan “Leitchy” Leitch are worthy of a mention.

Leitchy initially followed the well trodden route of school > qualifications > uni. However, in spite of his friends (including myself) telling him he was “mental” he took a turn at a blind corner and applied to the police. In doing so, although he didn’t know it at the time, he was doing exactly what Tash Friday would preach on a weekly basis : he was having a bash at something he genuinely cared about.

As he approached the end of the selection process, recession hit; police recruitment was halted; and he was left in limbo. However, he stuck to the task and built up his experience to ensure that when recruitment re-started he would be at the front of the queue. 

The situation didn’t change for over a year and I’m sure he had his doubts about whether he’d done the right thing. However, in 2011 he was offered a place on the training course (where, by all accounts, he excelled) and today he is passing out (for the first time without having had half a shandy and a shot of sourz). 

Tash Friday often talks about taking life by the scruff of the neck and following your ambitions and this is yet another example of it happening. This time though, it’s not a man with a Tash; it’s one of us. 

I’m not saying he’s Tom Selleck or Albert Einstein (he’s not even remotely similar to either of them) and I don’t want to be hyperbolic in my praise but if we accept that success isn’t measured in pounds or dollars but rather in satisfaction with what you’re doing – which I do – then we should be proud of and congratulate those who take a risk and back themselves. 

I know it’s cringe but as this is for Leitchy (the most cringe person I know), the Tash this week is Walt Disney; a man who said “All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them”:


Anyway, I’ll finish this week by congratulating Leitchy and, more importantly, Mr and Mrs Leitch. I hope you have a cracking day and that Leitchy buys you a nice lunch/dinner to thank you for putting up with him. I’ll also take this opportunity to advise Leitchy that we have adopted a Buff-Cheeked Gibbon in his name at Edinburgh Zoo (Gibbon just about sums him up) and the details are winging rheir way to him as we speak. I should also say that if a rather outlandish policewoman appears at your front door asking if you’ve been a bad boy you’d better let her in… some of the idea the lads came up with for a present were fairly bold. Seriously.

To Leitchy, and whoever else is free tonight, give me a text and I’ll catch you at the flat or in Kushion/Bamboo later – Turn Up The Lights!

Have a cracking weekend folks!